The End

I honestly don't know how I want to write this final post. I'm going to write it like I always have– with no plan, but a need to type whatever pops into my head at the time. No proofreading, either.

First, a quick update; a lot has happened since my last post. These past three weeks have happened so fast, they've all blended together. If I can recall– I went to the final summer session for We the People and got to judge the judges; I met up with the girl I dated from that other team again and we smoked together for the first time; I moved in early and went to Cal's Filipino orientation, where my parents and I were interviewed by a national Filipino news network and my dad started crying about the opportunities Cal provides. Golden Bear Orientation, my freshman orientation and the first time Cal has had a week long program, just finished and has been so much fun. My group grew very close together; I made new friends, including an international student, a very sarcastic girl from San Diego, and a girl with two moms who very much reminds me of my unitmate. I spent many nights walking late at night from the all girls STEM dorm, gained a reputation for being a player with a different girl each day (not true), and broke a world record. I can't remember everything, but it's made me excited for what's to come. I start classes tomorrow.

It's been a long time since I started this blog on the New Years of sophomore year. I haven't even gone back to read everything I wrote, but from what I've skimmed, I've improved so much. I've reviewed two hundred teas, from the first hundred I did those five months in 2015 to the last one this summer. My writing is way more interesting; I've gone through hard times and made it through; I've graduated with honors and am now attending the number one public university in the world with the most prestigious merit scholarship available there. I experienced my first extended relationship and my first real break up, met so many new people (dated a few, too) and came out of my shell, and became a state champion and a nationally ranked team. I've lost friends and loved ones and failed more times than I thought. Like the past few weeks, there's so much that's happened in these short two years that I could never write it all out without going through all of this writing. Documenting my day to day life is mundane, but taken altogether, I've become a completely different person than when I started.

Despite the title, this isn't the end; cliched as it is, it's the end of one chapter in my life and the start of a new one. I'll continue drinking tea and writing. Maybe I'll start a new blog when I finally get my act together. I'm glad I'm where I am now, and I'm thankful for all the people, places, and chance happenings that got me here. Maybe two years from now, I'll come back to this blog and read about growing up (which I will still be doing at that time). I'll wonder why I made such a big deal out of dumb things like grades and girls, laugh at the silly things that I did with my friends, and feel nostalgic about the people that have both entered and left my life. I'll reflect on those memories that I thought were small in passing, but ended up defining who I am now.

I don't know how to end this post. I guess I'll go back to doing what I did in the posts that got me through that tough time junior year, giving advice that isn't directed to really anyone but myself. Own your shit. Be original, be genuine, be caring. Generalizations never work out; people are defined from anything and everything, ranging from their race, economic status, experiences, family, and more. Grades are only there to tell you that you need to improve– and you can always find ways to improve yourself; you don't need to take the path everyone else takes, or stress out just because it's what everyone else does. Expect all people to be good people, and give them second chances (but don't let them take advantage of you). Go with the flow, or as English teachers like to say, live in the present.

Right now, I feel great. I'm excited to enter this new part of my life, although I don't even know if I'm really ready to face it. The homesickness hasn't hit me yet. I don't know if it ever will. All I know is that I think my roommate is great, I've established a friend group (even though I'm the odd one out in terms of major and dorm), and I'm doing well learning how to live on my own in a city. Getting out of my comfort zone is both scary and, sometimes, easier than I thought. For one, I went to a frat party and did my laundry for the first time. The people are very friendly, showing it in their own ways. I love Berkeley just because it seems like there's so much opportunity available and I can be myself, nerdy and however social I'd like to be (I don't think I'd be happy at UCLA, thinking about it now). I like to think that the people here think the same too. I know, being at Cal, that there will be very low lows and very high highs; it'll be a learning experience.

For people new to this blog, I know it sounds weird, but tea has changed my life. Try it sometime, it's been very therapeutic for me. I always wrote about how it all focuses on the process of brewing– the product, a good tasting tea, is only a result. I don't like using metaphors, but hey, I think it's a good way to describe these past two years. Take that how you will.

Thank you for everything. This is the end of this blog, but not the end of my story. It's time to go to the next level and be the best person you can be, so try to take in the views while you can.

As Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., wrote in Timequake: "You were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do."