Note: Now, this piece was written for African American Literature, where the prompt was just to write a folktale in the style of pre-Civil War African American vernacular (I promise I wasn't trying to be racist in the dialect I used in Brer Toad's dialogue). This was one of my earlier pieces, and based on the experiences of one of my friends, which I think is pretty funny.
Back in a time when humans did not roam the Earth, animals kept their own societies much like our own. In what was to become the Chesapeake, there was a young man by the name of Brer Toad. Born and raised in a quaint little town situated by the Potomac, he eventually married a young Missus Toad and together they raised a sweet knot of four little toads.
In good times, they could get by just from living off the land, which gave Brer Toad and the Missus a sizable crop of corn and wheat to sell and eat. But when hard times came– like when the droughts dried the land to a desert, or the floods drowned the crops in a sea– the determined Brer Toad had to resort to other means.
In order to keep his family afloat in these times of hardship, Brer Toad took over his late father’s business: a small general store near the center of the tiny town. Business wasn’t always easy to come by, but you see, Brer Toad was an honest man; he was always willing to hire someone who looked a bit down on their luck.
Now, one day, as Brer Toad was cleaning the windows of his picturesque little shop, the shifty Brer Fox walked over.
“Well, hello there, Mister Toad. As I’m sure you’ve heard, I’ve come into a bit of misfortune as of late. I was so distraught, I didn’t know who to turn to– until someone pointed me in the direction of your wholesome general store here. So, I kindly ask: would you please hire a poor old fox so he can have a little bit to eat for the season?” pleaded Brer Fox.
“Mistah Fox, come on board! I’d be rite happy ta help a feller man get back on ‘is feet if ‘e’s encounterin’ some hardships,” said Brer Toad, shaking the hand of Brer Fox.
Inviting him in, Brer Toad immediately set the newcomer to work in the back room.
“Naw, Missah Fox, I wan’ you to move these big boxes unner dat wooden table o’er there in da corna, and den put these small boxes on toppa da table. I’ll be back inna few minnits ta see how yer doin’,” instructed Brer Toad as he returned to cleaning the windows.
Less than five minutes later, Brer Toad heard a loud crash inside the store. Rushing in, he found the miscellaneous contents of almost all of the boxes scattered about the floor and a scruffy Brer Fox sitting in the middle of the clutter.
“I’m sorry, Mister Toad– I don’t know what happened! First thing, I’m picking up one of the boxes, and then before I know it, I’m on the ground and everything’s everywhere! I’m real sorry,” cried Brer Fox.
Taking a deep breath, Brer Toad said “Don’ worry ‘bout it. Alla us make mistakes, Missah Fox. Y’know wut? Hows about we just put ya ta work outside, cleanin’ da windas. Ya saw me do it, rite? It ain’ dat hard.”
“Alright Mister Toad, I’ll try my best,” proclaimed Brer Fox as he went outside, an empty bucket in one hand and a rag in the other.
An hour passed and no customers were in sight. Brer Toad had finally finished rearranging the stockroom which Brer Fox had destroyed. When he came outside and saw Brer Fox’s work, he almost fainted from shock.
“M-missah Fox! Whaddya do? Da windows were almos sparkly clean when ya started, and now d-dey’re pitch black! I can’ even see thru ‘em! How in da world didja get ‘em dirtier than dey were at da start?” Brer Toad stammered.
“Well, Mister Toad, I couldn’t find the water you were using, so I used the stuff in the barrel over there to clean the windows. I don’t see what the issue is here,” Brer Fox replied.
“B-but d-dat barrel sez tar right onnit! I can’t see how ya didn’t realize wut yer doin’.” Trying to control himself, Brer Toad just sighed and muttered, “I’ll jus’ fixxit m’self. Go back inside n watch the register or sumthin’ while I clean up dis mess,’ and picked up the rag.
When he finally finished cleaning the windows, Brer Toad looked through and noticed that Brer Fox wasn’t at the register– in fact, Brer Fox was nowhere to be seen inside the store. The only thing of the crafty fox Brer Toad could find was the cash register, open and emptied out, and the back door left wide open.
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